2:16 p.m., 15.11.03
'Tis I!

I'm 26, happily unmarried with a beautiful 23 yo artswanker chineee gurlflend.

I work for myself from home, which gives me plenty of time to read online diaries.

I just bought the Grease DVD.

I sing. I drum. I hurt my shoulder playing ball.

I like the fact that my girlfriend loves anal.

I take the piss.

I drive my car like an old lady, but anyone else's car like a maniac.

I've lined up my best mate to be thrown out of a plane bollock naked on his buck's night.

I like harleys.

I live in North Melbourne.

I'm slightly deviant.

I broke my exercise bike.

My puppy is old and has arthritis.

My fridge needs an occy strap to stay shut.

I come on my girlfriend's face all the time and she likes that.

I don't remember my dreams but sometimes I wake up drenched with sweat with my heart racing.

I'm lazy. I pontificate (as you've discovered).

I'm a wally with water.

My willy bends slightly to the left, probably because I'm right-handed.

I like my new printer.

I'm addicted to Vice City.

People say I look like Encino Man.

My girl and I are interviewing guys and girls for threesomes, but we're nervous about taking the big step.

Given a tub of neapolitan, I always eat the strawberry first.

I used to fight with my brothers but now we're best mates.

I hog the stage.

I can shoot threes all day.

I love my mum and dad and they pretend it's hard to tolerate me.

I entertained three old French ladies the other night.

I dance poorly but with great enthusiasm.

I can burp louder than anyone you know.

If I let myself think about this one ancient relationship, my stomach turns cold and I'm gripped by fear.

I like porn.

I once found out half way through an excellent blowjob that she was a he.

I've got my license back now.

I make a lot of close friends.

I like sandwiches.

I tend to charm 40 year olds.

I take my cappucino froth seriously.

I incorporate things into my world.

I have the biggest bedroom in the universe.

I hardly ever chunder, but when I do...

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