10:54 a.m., 18.10.04
Anonymous fart compliments

We sang a gig at a business awards show on Friday night - which was great because Pete Smith introduced us, and that fulfilled a bit of a lifelong fantasy of mine.

We had to wait for ages to do our bit though, and the dinners they were serving were those expensive ones where they take a huge plate and plonk an olive and a sprig of parsley in the middle of it, so Sammy and Nous and I sneaked out and ran across Fed Square to KFC.

On the way over, we stopped for a quick piss. I took a urinal, Sammy needed more personal space so he took a stall. We were then joined by another bloke who came in very quietly.

As this third fella assumed the position at one of the urinals, he let out a dirty big fart. Poor form in any language, but I guess if there's a time and a place, that was it.

Sammy, however, was unaware from his stall that anyone but me was in the room, so he yelled out "Phhhwwwwwooooooooaaaaaa-haw-hawwwwwww, nice one maaaate!"

I wish I could have seen the guy's reaction, but I was laughing so hard I needed every bit of available concentration to keep my own aim true.

Tears streaming down my cheeks as I struggled to keep a straight face, I silently left the bathroom, leaving the bloke with no indication that Sammy and I knew each other.

Previous || Next