10:13 a.m., 03.12.03
Stormy Weather

Nous and I were trying to shag last night when the storm hit, and it was bloody distracting. Naturally, we ploughed on with it, but afterwards we both just stood on the balcony in awe as the biggest thunderstorm in 100 years hit Melbourne.

I've never seen so much lightning - it was like a slow strobe, lighting up the city. And by crikey was it pissing down. I couldn't turn y head away because I was certain that the moment I did, I'd miss the freak lightning bolt that would hit the children's hospital across the road and blow it to a smoking heap.

In fact, for some reason, I was so certain this was going to happen that I'd started formulating in my mind exactly what I was going to say to the Channel 10 news team when they interviewed me about it.

Anyway, I hope this storm has got all that unpleasantness right out of Melbourne's system, because I'm supposed to be jumping out of a plane with four or five mates tomorrow as part of the buck's turn I'm putting on for my best bud.

I'm fucked if I want to be dodging thunderbolts - and it'll be ten times worse for him, because he'll be bollock naked and in girly makeup.

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