2:36 a.m., 07.11.04
Engagement party and big-arse charity ball

Two things for your amusement this evening as I sit here ploughing through the yoghurts of Nous's that I've stolen out of the fridge... :)

#1: Some things I should have said in my completely unprepared speech at our engagement party last night

- Can I get a "hell yeah!" for Mum and Dad, who have not only been kind enough to let us wreck their house tonight, but have laid on a spanking spread for everyone's enjoyment. Mother, Father, you guys are the bidness and I promise your great deeds of party hosting will be remembered in your senile and incontinent winter years.

- With so many friends and family with us tonight, I want to apologise in advance if we don't get to spend a great deal of time with each of you. Everyone that's here tonight is very dear to us - and it often ends up that your closest friends are the ones you spend the least time with on these occasions. Rest assured we love you and we'll make the time to see you in a more intimate setting very soon.

- I couldn't be happier to be marrrying Nous, she's the bees knees, the duck's guts and the dog's bollocks all rolled into one delectable package. She's a smart, beautiful, sweet, caring, sassy, powerful and DAMN sexy woman, and I knew we were made for each other the day she told me that she had no sense of smell. She's a very welcome addition to the family and I hope she never stops giving up the pooty with the frightening vigour she demonstrates on a daily basis.

#2: What we did tonight

I'm tickled pink. Absolutely rapt with myself. Why? Well, I'm a man of simple pleasures, and I was indulged in yet another personal dream come true tonight.

The two of us volunteered to help run the silent auction at a very high-profile charity ball this evening, chock full of celebrities and mega hot chicks. Actually, despite the jaw-dropping array of spankers from the world of music, movies, telly, sport and the social pages, the best perve of the night turned out to be one of the lasses helping us out with the auction. She had racked up the finest set of knockers I believe I've ever seen. They were unbelievable.

Normally I'd go out of my way to give a lass a round of applause or at least a cheeky compliment, but I was both rendered speechless and a little uncomfortable about saying anything because she was pretty young, so I somehow restrined myself from getting the camera-phone out and going to town.

Anyway, I met a bunch of famous people, which was pretty cool. Dermie (big aussie rules footy star, Timmsie (the ex-captain of the Aussie women's basketball team and a bit of a personal hero), Stick Mareebo (radio guy), Naomi Robson (current affairs show host), Mal Walden (stalwart newsreader), Derryn Hinch (total clown) and a bunch of others.

But what really got me going was having a chat with both Dr. Karl *and* Toadfish Rebecchi from Neighbours. I sold Dr. Karl a year's supply of beer and had a bit of a yarn with him, and then I hunted Toady down to shake his hand and confess my guilty Neighbours addiction. I even had a chinwag with his wife. Yep, there's a Mrs. Toady.

So yeah, I'm in a very good mood. Heh heh. I should go on one of those hokey Neighbours tours they run out of St. Kilda, I'd have a ball. Next on my list of Neighbours stars I want to meet would have to be Harold and Lou. Watch this space. :)

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